My file of chicken philosophy quotes- this is powerful stuff I'm sharing with you, be careful with it:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
1.Any Philosophy 101 Professor:
Why not?
2.Plato:
For the greater good.
3.Aristotle:
To actualize its potential.
4.Albert Camus:
Seeing that an indifferent world lay on all sides of the road, the
chicken knew it would be absurd not too cross, and for that moment, the
chicken knew what it was to really be alive. It was if the bird had been
asleep its entirely up until this choice was put before him. So, with a
newfound determination and a smile, the chicken valiently crossed the
road only to be put out of its mercy by an eighteen wheeler.
5.Noam Chomsky:
To manufacture consent
6.Rene Descartes:
It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.
7.Epicurus:
For fun.
8.Hegel:
Only through the synthesis of the dialectical chicken and road
could the spirit transcend the experience of crossing.
9.David Hume:
Out of custom and habit.
10.Carl Jung:
The confluence of events in the cultural gesalt necessitated
that individual chickens cross roads at this historical
juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such
occurrences into being.
11.Immanuel Kant:
The pure transcendental concept of the road, having been deduced a
priori and without dependence on intuitions, is given in the mode of
the chicken as an end in itself, while crossing the road as a
hypothetical imperative, namely, as acting towards some end allowed by
Reason.
12.Soren Kierkegaard:
The chicken is dead. The road is nothing.
13.Karl Marx:
It was a historical inevitability.
14.Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.
15.Pyrrho the Skeptic:
What Road?
16.Ayn Rand:
The chicken crossed the road in order to get away from the
flock that is stifling his creativity.
17.Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the
chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
18. Wittgenstein:
What we cannot explain we must pass over in silence. |
