1. Actually one million spiders a year get blasted in annual champagne festivals each year in Europe. This is because the Frasching season must be started by taking out the oldest champagne bottles from the cellar and popping the cork instanter, according to festival rules. Natch there are hordes of spider webs about, so when the cork flies, the probability of a sleeping spider getting zapped is pretty high. Vindictive spiders biting wine tasters has resulted in many deaths, but they have been written off to drunken accidents. Who would notice a small spider bite on a wine soaked corpse amid a pile of broken bottles?
2. Lions must have sex for pleasure. It is part of their territorially risible imperative. Only they usually get caught lion about it.
3. Caught in a coffee Klatsch. The name of the coffee is Columbian Roasted Hostage Special Mountain Blend with Extra Strong US Dollar Beans. But the person who yelled for all those years and days to warm up that cup? You guessed it. Julio Iglesias.
4. I think I am right. In fact to eat 18 acres of pizza, it would take at least two sittings. Let's face it, for one person, 720,000 square feet is a lot. It did say Americans eat on the average 18 acres of pizza yearly. That means each American eats his yearly average of 18 acres or 1972 square feet per day. That must be several extra large. So the total possible pizza usage in one year we could say is 240,000,000 times 18 acres, or 4.2 billion acres of pizza. I would say America is a young country and its people are hungry, so it is in the realm of possibility. I am willing to bet however, that they did not have anchovies with that.
Some questions naturally arise from these calculations. How many barrels of coke or sprite is that per acre per person per year? If you add cigarettes to these orders, then I would venture to say that Phillip Morris would have to buy out the other major tobacco companies to fill them, lawsuits or not.
We interrupt the post to listen in on a Domino's call.
"Yes sir, yes, I got your order, no I don't think 16 hours to fill a pizza order is necessarily too long.. what's that? no, I don't think it is necesary for you to cook it yourself. Bear in mind sir, that all our ovens are a total of 150 square feet, and we have to run them for 20 minutes each for 1/16 of your order and we have 100,000 order to fill tonite, it does put a strain on personnel.. how is that ... you see the truck in your yard? how are you going to unload it? you don't have a forklift? all our customer orders specify the customer supplies the forklift, yes the coke truck is there too ... no you have to supply the barrels, all we do is pump it. I don't know how you are going to eat all that pizza, you have to figure that out for yourself. Each american has to pull his weight in this thing. Well, do you have a dog?"
EC<:-} |
