Excellent questions! I will answer them.
I'll try to be as succinct as I can on this, but remember, you are asking a Total Failure, so it might be that my feeble understanding of my entire business fiasco could be flawed in some small way due to some faulty perception of the relevant facts as you know them.
That said, I assume that your all caps "MONEY" takes precedence in your Subtle Hint at the Truth I Have Failed to Fully Perceive over your capitalized "Content", as not only did your all caps "MONEY" come first in your sentence/question, it also has four more capital letters than your capitalized "Content", so let me address your questions in the order in which they were received.
First, as it were, would be MONEY.
There appears to be an inverse relationship (at least as far as my research has taken me so far) between what we might call the REVENUE STREAM and ABJECT FAILURE. I believe this relationship started some time ago, perhaps years, in some Distant Foreign Land, probably the same Distant Foreign Land where that useless girl Maria with No Shoes is from, the same girl that is on those television commercials that you send in MONEY to sponsor her and some of the MONEY is used for Related Administrative Purposes and some of the MONEY is spent on a Pair of Shoes (this is all theoretical on my part, remember) which (this is Maria I am talking about, not the shoes) are subsequently delivered to Maria by FedEx or UPS or US MAIL, and whom, by the way, may be about 40 years old now with four Adorable but Pathetically Destitute Children in a Foreign Land of her own, requiring an increase of approximately 500% in the REVENUE STREAM just to keep the Sole Compound between the Feet from a Foreign Land and the actual Foreign Land itself; and a few Pathetically Destitute Grandchildren on the way, all receiving a Pair of Shoes at regular intervals, not allowing for INFLATION in the cost of wholesale footwear (which should be factored into the REVENUE STREAM as an expense of some sort but not so the people who are providing the MONEY get a bad feeling about anything) .
Truthfully, it boggles the mind to even begin to consider that someone like Maria From a Distant Foreign Land, who has no television set at all and has never even seen advertisements for mind-altering drugs with boutique names, and toaster pizza pop-ups with artificial meat flavoring made with Real Cheese and fermented malt beverages provided by nubile maidens in scanty and revealing undergarments standing seductively next to one’s outdoor pool (and who are required to come inside and approach one to provide said beverage and it better be cold or one will refuse it) and little electro-shock belts that automatically contract a muscle that is never used while sitting in one’s new leather chair and just thinking about some complex nutball bullshit solution to some Fantasy Island Problem that must be solved before the next commercial break (and which, I might add parenthetically, could be exacerbated considerably if one is actually consuming the mind-altering drugs, fermented malt beverage, and the toaster pizza pop-ups while sitting in one’s new leather chair), World’s Worst Police Chases Caught on Tape XII hosted by an Actual Ex-Law Enforcement Officer, The Making of the Teaser for The Making of Behind the Scenes at the Actor’s Studio’s Suck Each Other 55th Semi-Annual Gala Event at the Shrine Auditorium Caught on Tape with your host James Lipton, and a little pill you can take prior to eating a bunch of chemically-soaked soybean meal and drinking the aforementioned fermented malt beverages and not have your lard ass stomach puke it back up and cause a short in the little electro-shock belt which would instantly fry any remaining brain cells that are not already tweaked by the mind-altering chemicals.
And don’t even get me started on the Internet and e-mail advertising with the various bodily fluids and guttural dialog with close-ups and so forth.
But, I digress.
The question is: Will Maria in a Foreign Land pay MONEY for Premium Cable so she can surf the Internet at her leisure with a high bandwidth connection and invent things to discuss with no understanding of whom she is dealing with or what the hell she is talking about? And the answer is a resounding “Uh…….nah, I doubt it. In fact, I guarantee Total Failure”. Ask Jeff Bezos if you don’t believe me.
Therefore simple logic would imply that the reason I failed is indeed directly connected to MONEY.
Now, as to the second part of your question, “lack of Content”. We must define our terms here, would you not agree? Content even with a small “c”, for Maria from a Foreign Land at least, can be eliminated completely from the equation since she is a useless anchor on the entire global cable network REVENUE STREAM and will be forever. Not to mention the Little Ones from a Foreign Land. None of them will ever amount to anything, and for all intents and purposes we can consider them all to be sub-human and not worthy of a high bandwidth connection, a lard ass big fat sedentary stomach, mind-altering drugs with boutique names, toaster pizza pop-ups with artificial meat flavoring made with Real Cheese, and fermented malt beverages provided by nubile maidens in scanty and revealing undergarments. Not to mention James Lipton and the Guttural Dialog With Close-ups.
Hey, good name for a band, eh?
But, I digress.
Clearly, my Content was totally incorrect and inappropriate. I actually don’t even remember what it was, I am so depressed from the ABJECT FAILURE of my web site. So the answer to the second part of your question is also a resounding, “Yup!”, as it were, so to speak.
Pass the Chee-Tos, will you? I have a live a live potential acolyte here and can’t get up, I need to keep typing nonsensical complex irrelevant yet weird text that makes no sense to anyone but me.
It’s the only thing that keeps me from just giving up everything and turning my Deluxe Electro-Tummy all the way up to HIGHER THAN A $500 SHELL ON THE 4th of JULY and ending this misery, which is only added to by that Christopher interior decoration fellow with the funny accent.
[Big Sigh] |
