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To: Richnorth who wrote (2635)	3/26/2002 10:34:08 AM
From: Jeffrey S. Mitchell	Read Replies (2) of 12465

OT: Rich, just to elaborate a bit, I think self-esteem is established by good parenting. I have my kids enrolled in tae kwon do which, on the one hand, teaches kids discipline and respect, but, on the other, it also allows the weaker kids to get pummeled during sparring and the gawkier ones to stand out like sore thumbs when executing forms in front of everyone. IMO, however, that's a good thing. It allows the parents to quickly assess their child's physical development as well as their attitude toward trying to do better. It also allows parents a chance to determine just how committed they are to helping their child be the best they can be. It gets even more brutal when kids go to tournaments. Their score is based on a panel of judges. You may perform flawlessly yet still not get high marks simply because your style was not what the judges were looking for. As a parent, you have to prepare your child that life is subjective and not always fair. Sometimes we are judged by a scant 30 second impression we make instead of our entire body of work. Sometimes the difference between winning and losing boils down to making just one fleeting stupid mistake (i.e. trade (g)). We all learn these lessons at some point in our lives. We might as well learn them sooner -- when we have ample time with parental support to make the necessary adjustments -- than later. Self-esteem should not be about being shielded from where you stand in relation to your peers in a given area, it should be about knowing exactly where you rank so you can either improve your lot or learn to accept the fact we all are not born with equal talents. - Jeff

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