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Pastimes : THE SLIGHTLY MODERATED BOXING RING
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To: Solon who wrote (5827)3/30/2002 11:17:20 AM
From: Lane3  Read Replies (1) of 21057
 
But it is a mistake to equate unconstructive with not nice-and vice versa.

I did not mean to imply I was equating the two. I put them in separate paragraphs but should have been clearer. I consider nice and constructive two different matters. One is about how we treat other people and social lubricant. The other is about what is effective. I have no objection to anyone choosing effectiveness over niceness. If there's something worthwhile to be gained by not being nice, I'd say to go for it. If being condescending or sarcastic makes someone see a point that they wouldn't have seen otherwise, then it's worth it, IMO. The problem is that I don't see it being effective. It seems like it ought to be, but it isn't. Most of the time, people just dig in and quit listening when they're mocked rather than wondering if maybe the mocker has a point. So I would question my motivation before mocking anyone. I might be sufficiently frustrated that I decide to just let it fly to make myself feel better, but I don't want to confuse that with being effective.

But any attempt to elevate the ridiculous to the sober and the serious is one that may be righteously opposed.

I didn't expect you to agree. I reserved the right to be irreverent, as well. (I will duly add a winkie for Marie.) I just hope I can express it without contempt.
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