As it turns out, the city DPW had a work-order open on this particular gaping hole (which incidentally, the locals had dubbed "Muffy's hole") for four months. But of course since all the smaller holes were closer to donut shops and Quikava drive-throughs, Muffy's hole somehow kept getting bumped down in the work-order queue and none of the men from the DPW ever showed up to fill it as scheduled. Meanwhile, Muffy's hole continued to gape and even started to sag somewhat around the edges on hot days.
Occasionally, dogs, cats and drunks would fall into Muffy's hole, never to be seen again, and oh! - this is the best part - never making a sound. As though they just kept falling perpetually. In fact, on a bright day in early March an entire troop of cookie-bearing girl scouts vanished into Muffy's hole because one of them dropped her merit badge in and when they crowded around the edge in awe of the soundlessness of it all, there was a slight cave-in and they too, along with a few good chunks of asphalt, joined our heroes in the emptiness below. Now one might think at this point that neighbors and parents would be onto it and ringing the phone like crazy at city hall and the police department, but in similar fashion, every parent that went to investigate also mysteriously disappeared, and always at a convenient time when no witnesses were standing around to observe or if there were any witnesses, well they were curious too and... |
