I can attest that Uncle Harvey not only exists, but he is a member of the world's second oldest profession (as are several thread members). <g>
I thought I'd bark out a few words since I tried to get involved in both this situation and the one two years back. There seems to be this built in expectation that the threadhead mediate all disputes. But none of us are children. As far as I know, the only child that has appeared on the thread was that spammer from Canada that we chased into the woods a few months ago (which was great fun BTW).
As adults, we do have a few responsibilities. One of them is to act like adults. That doesn't mean we can't also act like pigs or dogs too, but it does mean that we shouldn't be looking to somebody to mediate our disputes all the time. I happen to know that Mr. McKie was pretty busy these past few days. That amongst all that he has a family, and it was a family holiday over the weekend (where apparently he was mediating his own disputes). I was busy too these past few days. If it had been my thread, my backyard, the park behind my house, or whatever, you all could have pissed on each other from Thursday through to Tuesday and all I would have noticed is the smell when I got back. It isn't Tom's job to clean up these messes. It isn't mine, or anyone else's. It's the responsibility of those involved to clean it up themselves, or to take it down the street to another neighborhood rather than cause difficulties for their friends and fellow park inhabitants.
I learned early in life about ultimatums. My Mom issued one to the whole family after she and my Dad divorced. It was basically, don't have anything to do with him or don't have anything to do with me. Don't invite him to a family gathering or I won't come. Don't associate with his new wife or I will give you hell for it.
Later, my best friend was dating this lady for a year or so.....and he really loved her but her clock was ticking and she gave him the ultimatum.....and he came to me for advice. And I said, she's a fine person, you're compatible....but.....before you go through with it, bear in mind.....that's not the last ultimatum you are going to get in life.
In both situations, an ultimatum was given. And in both situations, really in all such situations, the recipient of the ultimatum is placed in an awful position. Is that really a fair thing to do to somebody who is letting us use his house, his backyard, his neighborhood park that he maintains? Is it fair to escalate a dispute, then escalate it further, then say it is over, then jump in and throw acid in somebody's face because of a grudge, and then blame somebody because you all chose to have the fight over by his place?
You aren't even paying him to be a mediator. He's not a public utility. He has a job. He has a family. It was a holiday. And it wasn't even his responsibility to take sides to begin with.
You all might say, well, hell OMD, you took sides. And to an extent I did. I told Rich1 I thought he was responsible for escalating it initially, for making it into a pissing match and not just a challenge. The post that provoked Rich1 was unkind in a couple of respects, but the challenge to his trading history was legitimate since the dates he provided were a little off. As I also pointed out, though, Rich1 posted last October about his SEBL trades, so it is pretty clear to me that what we have here is not a lie but simply a slight miss on dates. So the chants of "liar" and all of the other garbage that spewed forth in all directions was more a reflection on those who spewed it then it was on Tom or anybody else.
Think back to my two ultimatum examples above. Did my Mom gain respect by forcing the choosing of sides? Nope. She did miss out on two of her children's weddings though. Did my friend's girlfriend gain respect by issuing an ultimatum? Nope. He decided not to marry her, and last year married a wonderful girl who patiently waited a long time for him to be ready.
And is it Tom's fault for not cleaning this up, for not taking sides?
You decide. I already have. |
