The Secrets Of Life, Love, And The Universe According To Jack Handey
hutchville.com
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your
rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the
person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they
believe me?
I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and
prejudices and just laugh at people.
One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't
run with a wooden stake.
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over
here, looking through your stuff.
Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the
Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you
might have flunked anyway; that's my point.
I believe in making the world safe for our children, but not our children's children, because I don't think
children should be having sex.
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.
I'd rather be rich than stupid.
I'VE FOUND MY GURU! |
