attention my fellow canucks
HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM:
1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL
2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO
3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: OTTAWA
4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, cradling cell phone, balancing Tim Horton's coffee on knee, foot solidly on accelerator: CALGARY
5. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, and both feet on brake, quivering in terror: SASKATOON, but driving in TORONTO
6. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in the back seat: QUEBEC CITY
7. One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in
traffic: VANCOUVER
8. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator throwing McDonald's bag out the
window: RED DEER
9. Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on the floor, raccoon tails attached to the antenna: PRINCE GEORGE
10. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield driving 40 km/hr on Hwy 1 in the left lane with the left blinker on:VICTORIA
AND THE BEST ONE OF ALL:
11. One ski-doo mitt on steering wheel, one ski-doo mitt scraper in hand out front window scraping frost, Guess Who on 8 track playing Share The Land, hockey
equipment smelling up car interior, waiting at lights for snow removal equipment to finish clearing intersection: WINNIPEG |
