Hmmm.
So you disagree that all actions have consequences. If so, science needs to back up about three centuries and ignore Newton's Third Law of Motion.
You're suggesting"negative" sexual experiences don't manifest themselves in the form of neuroses? . . . that many victims of sexual abuse, don't experience [def.] " symptoms such as insecurity, anxiety, depression, and irrational fears" in subsequent relationships? That's an interesting perspective: you're threatening to rewrite the history of physics and psychology. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
The addition of the lifestyle details to the "Barbara" scenario, dramatizes my sense that we look at the veneer of people and assume that if apparently "normal", "successful" people are dallying in aberrant behavior, that it somehow mitigates, or reframes the behavior in an acceptable light--that no damage is being done to them if they're external life appears "in order".
You say its not for you to judge this kind of behavior, and that is a reasonable notion in the abstract, but what if someone you loved were involved in this scenario? Would you assess the situation differently? For me, abstraction is worthless unless it can be imported to a personal reality. If "Barbara "were a friend or family member, I'd share the same judgement on her sexual behavior as I would were she practicing any other, IMO,dangerous behavior: smoking crack, drinking too much, putting "e" before "i" . . .
For me, crossing that breach is an act of caring. People can always tell you to "go to hell", but I've never heard that from anyone with whom I shared a concern , and I've never said that to anyone who caringly shared their concerns about my behavior. More often than not, a caution light from someone encourages a valuable pause.
This stuff about "not judging" is kind of alien to me--especially when it comes to those I care for. And, BTW, who shouldn't we care for?
[Que music: "Here Comes da Judge, Here Comes da Judge!"] |
