This morning as I crawled down the stairs on my usual blind morning search for the kitchen and the coffee pot, I tripped over three pairs of very large Nikes and then almost flew through the kitchen on a skateboard, scaring the hell out of Myers who had just come through the kitty door in the laundry room and did the fastest reverse exit I have ever seen. All that remained was a huge hunk of cathair hanging from the door.
I gazed around from my prone position on the floor and realized that I had been thrust back in time. After nine months of an increasingly neat and clean house filled with gentle music and nice smells, I was back in teenage hell. Shoes, guitars, strange odoriferous t-shirts, soda cans, computer parts, and bodies that are not related to me lying around in the extra beds and taking showers in the guest bathroom.
I have to wear a bathrobe again. No more sexy naked lady routines at 7 am.
They drank all the cokes, and then the V-8 and orange juice, and then, apparently desperate, the Evian. EMpty cereal boxes litter the floor.
Not only that, I am really concerned about the Halloween Michael Myers serial killer mask that's on the kitchen counter.
What did they do last night when they went out on their skateboards at 2 am?
I am checking my set of Heinkels now for bloodstains, along with the skateboard, which seems to only have my blood on it so far.
Join me in a prayer that fulltime and exhausting summer employment be found for them all very quickly. |
