Sorry, talking to my wife. Well, let's see:
If it is deeply distressing to its recipient, the subject of the innuendo and insinuation and unwelcome attention, and she makes clear that it is, and her friends do, too; if she begs him to stop; if her husband does the same; if he claims his attentions are somehow justified, but because we see only "the tip of the iceberg" he can't prove it; if he is given leave to show the whole iceberg and refuses...
....When you cause suffering, do it protractedly, repeatedly, and knowingly....
I have bolded the parts that I think are not documented. It is not clear how deep her distress is, frankly, from what is observable on the threads. That she is angry at him is clear. After that, who knows? I think it spins things too much to refer to insinuation and innuendo. Unless he was PMing much worse to her, the overt record is not particularly erotic, the claim of prior friendship was aboveboard, not insinuated, and the most one might take from "innuendo" is that they had been somewhat flirty, if that. As for making clear, the record is spotty, since sometimes Poet started things by talking about Christopher when she knew he would try to put in his two cents. That muddied the waters, rather than creating clarity. The term "begging" is too much of a spin. On more than one occasion, Poet said "Do Not Post To or About Me", but there was nothing imploring that I recall. It was an order, and one that plenty of people have ignored when others have blurted out such a thing. Again, I do not recall her husband "begging", nor interfering on more than one occasion, although I may have missed something. Finally, even accepting that Poet suffered, and that his behavior has been protracted and repeated, although not continuous, it is not at all evident that he knew that she was suffering. I think he assumed that she was mad and would get over it, which is somewhat different. I should also add that there is some reason for him to hesitate about sharing PMs, his reasoning on that score is not ludicrous, although I have encouraged him to be cooperative...... |
