A Southerner is having his breakfast (coffee, grits, biscuits, and jam) when a Northerner chewing obnoxiously on gum sits down next to him. The Southerner ignores the Northerner who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
Northerner: "When you Southern people eat bread, do you eat the whole slice?"
Southerner: "Yep."
Northerner: (after blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. Up North, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, then transform them into biscuits and send them to the South." The Northerner has a smirk on his face. The Southerner listens in silence.
The Northerner persists: "Do you eat jam with biscuits?"
Southerner: "Yep."
Northerner: (cracking and smacking his gum between his teeth and chuckling). "We don't. Up North after we eat fruit for breakfast, we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam, and then send it down South.
Then the Southerner asks: "Y'all have sex up North?"
Northerner: "Why of course we do", the Northerner says, as he pops another big bubble.
Southerner: "And what do y'all do with the condoms once ya use 'em?"
Northerner: "We throw them away, of course.
Southerner: We don't. Down South we put 'em in a jar, recycle 'em, melt 'em down into bubble gum and sell 'em to Yankees." |
