For Michael (who is there) and Alex(who soon will be) from penni(who has been)
THE NUK FAIRY
For the first three years of each of my sons' lives, their (and my) best friend was Nukkie, a substitute nipple that can be jammed into a tired, bored, crying baby's mouth causing instant gratification for baby and peace for mom. (Why do I think I hear some lewd comments from Zin and Freddy? No guys, this ploy will not work with your dates)
By the age of three, the dentist was warning us that malformation of the hard palate was going to occur if we didn't get the Nuk out of Ammo's mouth, where it resided on a semi-permanent basis, so I broached the subject with Ammo in a calm way. Anyone who thinks three is nearing the age of reason has no children. Although Ammo was very calm also, now that I reflect on it.
"No."
Although I am briefly diverted by noting how clearly he spoke around the object that occupied most of the oral cavity, I return quickly to the task. I am crafty. This was, after all, a second child. I had learned that if possible, a parent should never take responsibility for unpleasant happenings in her offspring's life. "The Nuk Fairy says that when a little boy or girl turns three, it's time to give back the Nukkie"
"NO." Ferocious sucking noises accompany the monosyllable, whose tone implicitly suggests that the Nuk Fairy can go to hell.
Ah--but I am a mother of great resource. "Did you know the Nuk Fairy leaves a present for children if they put their Nuk under their pillow at night?"
A direct hit. Big blue eyes gaze at me, calculating the possibilities. "What toy?"
For the past three months of Ammo's little life, he has been obsessed with He-Man. He owns, I swear, 87 action figures, 12 action vehicles, and three large fortresses. And the damn company seemed to come out with a new object daily. "A He-Man toy," I say seductively. "Maybe BattleCat!"
He nods. He'll think about it.
I rush to Toys R Us and purchase BAttleCat. I wrap it in pretty fairy paper. That night Ammo carefully puts his Nuk under the pillow. I tell him how wonderful he is. An hour later I sneak back to his room, gift in hand, and find him sleeping peacefully, Nuk firmly suctioned in place.
The next morning, he complains. In his mind, he had put that Nuk under the pillow and the Nuk Fairy had reneged. I tell him that the Nuk has to stay under the pillow. He nods and decides to up the ante. "I want LandShark, too."
I send my husband to the store that evening for LandShark. He returns with it and two more action figures, King Hiss and Clawful. I think he's proud of his son's negotiating techniques. I wrap the gifts; I'm running out of fairy paper. That night, the Nuk is again in Ammo's mouth when I go to his room.
The next day is Saturday. Family day. We miss nap time and go to the Mall. Ammo sees another HeMan toy. "THAT'S the one I want for Nukkie." he says. I sneak back to the store and DragonWalker. As there's no more Fairy paper, it gets wrapped in left-over Christmas wrap.
That night, he puts Nuk under the pillow. "You know, Son," says my husband, the lawyer. "I believe there's a regulation that won't allow the Nuk Fairy to bring more than three toys." Ammo nods.
An hour later we creep in; it now takes both of us to carry everything. Sure enough, perhaps because of that missed nap, or perhaps because a good negotiator knows when he has pushed the other party to its limits, Nuk is under the pillow. We leave all the toys at the foot of the bed. The next morning is like Christmas. Shouts of glee, tearing of paper. It lasts for half an hour. Then Ammo looks around and says, "I want Nukkie."
My husband is reasonable. "But you got all these great toys for Nuk. You made a deal with the Nuk Fairy."
Tears fill those big blue eyes. "I WANT NUKKIE."
And I am so proud of the next few minutes. Because Nukkie is under the pillow right where he left it. He rushes to his bed, grabs Nukkie and sticks it in his mouth. An expression of horror and disgust crosses his sweet face. Because that nasty Nuk Fairy has cut the nipple off Nukkie. Only 1/4" remained and as anyone knows, that's just not enough Nuk to suck. He rips it from his mouth and flings it across the room, defeated. "Phlaghh" he says and sits back down
with his He-Men. A victory for the Nuk Fairy and for Mom. |
