A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. This new element has been
tentatively
named "Administratium".
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,
and
111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312
particles are held together by a force called morons, which are
surrounded
by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A
minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over 4 days
to
complete when it would normally take less than one second.
Administratium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay but
instead, undergoes a reorganization, in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange
places.
In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each
reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate
that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
"CriticalMorass".
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