PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH Message Board

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Politics : PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH

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To: TigerPaw who wrote (263708)	6/17/2002 12:52:56 AM
From: ManyMoose	Read Replies (2) of 769667

Well, here's a partial list of the Clinton vandalism. I did not edit it from the source where I got it and I'll grant you some of the items do not qualify. But... Normal wear and tear -- toilets clogged with aborted fetuses vandalism? OK, we'll leave that one out. How about "Glory Hole" anonymous sex conduits drilled through stall walls? How about Pubic lice infestation of vintage bed linens? Bedside ATM machine vandalized? Shows you what kind of people worked there for eight years. ITEMIZATION OF TAXPAYER PROPERTY DAMAGE: 1600 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, WASHINGTON D.C. Location: Briefing Room Damage: Paper clip on floor Location: Communications Bullpen Damage: Dust on tops of door frames Location: Rose Garden Damage: Discarded Snickers bar wrapper caught in shrubbery Location: West Wing (multiple offices) Damage: Microscopic scratches on tops of desks, "W" keys forcibly removed from keyboards of standard-issue 1996 Compaq Presario computers Location: Ladies Restroom Damage: Tampon dispensers empty, three (3) toilets left overflowing and clogged with aborted fetuses Location: Diplomatic Foyer Damage: Hand-painted 14" bronze Presidential Seal unlawfully removed (replaced with Alcoholics Anonymous motivational plaque) Location: Cabinet Room Damage: Vice President's chair gilded. Also, fifteen (15) copies of "The Complete Mongoloid's Guide to One Term Presidencies" glued to conference table surface. Location: Printer Pool Damage: Photomontages depicting simian-themed treason inserted into printer paper trays Location: Roosevelt Room Damage: Too many appliances plugged into single outlet, extension cord running under carpet Location: Oval Office Damage: Personal-sized cocaine mirror monogrammed "GWB" taped to underside of President's desk. Counterfeit fingerprints of current President placed on same (method unknown). Cocaine currently unaccounted for. Location: Lincoln Bedroom Damage: Pubic lice infestation of vintage bed linens. Bedside ATM machine vandalized. Location: North Lawn Damage: Area directly beneath Mr. and Mrs. Bush's private residence is strewn with discarded distilled spirits bottles and pretzel bags. Location: Library Damage: Wholesale replacement of books with the complete archives of Sports Illustrated magazine Location: Office #2C (Formerly occupied by First Lady Hillary Clinton) Damage: Filing cabinet drawers lined with explicit centerfolds from "Liberal Bull Dykes Quarterly" Location: On every table and flat surface in the White House Damage: Security has retrieved 1,457 cardboard coasters sporting a photograph of George H. W. Bush (the 41st) and Jennifer Fitzgerald in an athletic, yet solely platonic entanglement with the greeting: "President Bush and his girlfriend welcome you to the White House." Location: Men's Room Damage: Soap dispensers left empty, "Glory Hole" anonymous sex conduits drilled through stall walls. (Mr. Rove insists these remain - in testament to the prurience of the previous administration.) Location: Kitchen Damage: Someone wrote "Helter Skelter" on the Sub-Zero with bar-b-que sauce Location: West Wing Coffee Nook Damage: Someone used a label-maker to affix an out-of-context George W. Bush quotation: "Coffee - the second best upper to come out of Columbia!" Location: Diplomatic Reception Room Damage: Waste baskets left unemptied Location: Intern Lounge Damage: Large holes in walls, ceiling and floor left during uninstallation of sado-masochistic gymnasium equipment. Location: Basement Boiler Room Damage: "BUBBA WUZ HERE" written on floor in several quarts of crusted-over man jelly

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