Along with Colombian coffee and Cuban cigars, I think 'tis time for some
oldies -- sexy humor, that is, so that self-styled and pseudo-psychologists/psychiatrists can have some capital for their bouts of fantasies.
Sexy Humor
Question: Why is the "69" position also called the
"smokers' position?"
Answer: Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is
cleaning the ashtray.
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Question: Why is sperm donation more expensive
than blood donation?
Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!!
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An old man married a young girl. On their wedding night he
showed five fingers to his wife.
Young girl : Ooh.. darling! 5 times?
Old man : No dear, choose which one you prefer to
start with.......
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Man 1 : My wife is obsessed with cars. While asleep, she
holds my bird &
says, "1st gear, 2nd gear......."
Man 2 : My wife is worse, she puts my bird inside her
and says, "Full Tank, please!"
=====================================
Question : What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer : Your salary, it comes once a month, lasts about
5-7 days, and if it doesn't come it means you are in big trouble.
==========================================
Question : What is the smallest hotel in the world?
Answer : It's Virginia because it can only accommodate 1 standing
occupant and leaves 2 baggages outside!
==========================================
2 prostitutes (bitches) were in a taxi, on their way home after work.
Bitch 1 : I smell sperm!!
Bitch 2 : Sorry, I burped!!
===========================================
A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing them she
got out of a hospital bed and slapped her husband and shouted,
"I told you not to do it doggy-style!"
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A prostitute goes to deposit a $100 bill in a bank.
The teller says, "Sorry, madam, the note is fake".
"Oh no!" exclaimed the prostitute, "I have been ...raped".
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A man went to the chemist to buy 1/4 of a Viagra. The chemist
said that it would be useless. The man said, "I am 70, sex is out of question.
I just want to stop peeing on my shoes".
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A secretary said publicly that you have a small penis,
would you comment on this?
"The truth is that she has a big mouth!"
=========================================
A Japanese girl accidentally lets out a big fart after making love.
She said, "Aww, so solly... exkooz me pleazo, Flont hole so happy,
back hole laugh out loud.
==========================================
What is common between a swimming pool and a wife?
For both we pay high maintenance for the little time we spend in them.
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Love is complicated machinery. But sometimes all you
need is a good screw to fix it.
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Sex is like a card game. If you don't have a good
partner, you better have a good hand.
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What's the difference between biology and sociology?
When the baby looks like his dad or mom, the it is biology.
When the baby looks like the neighbor, then it is sociology.
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What is the useless piece of flesh attached to the penis
called?- The Man.
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Whoever first said that "A dog is man's best friend" had never seen a pussy before.
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Why is breast milk good for health?
Because it is great for blood
circulation, provides heat, is refreshing and comes in attractive containers.
=================================================
Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings
and still suck blood?"
God said, "Okay, I will turn you into a sanitary pad".
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Why was two-piece bikini invented?
To separate meat section from the dairy section.
================================
Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out with. He is too
dumb.
"No, momma," she said, "he is going to be a doctor and he has already cured
me of that illness that I used to have every month!"
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