"OT"
But sometime we just need to smile, Stan.
What's the difference between a pigeon and a stockbroker?
A: The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.
Merrill Lynch has adjusted its investment portfolio: 50% cash and 50% canned goods.
Bumper sticker on Wall Street: My other Porsche is for sale.
How many investment bankers can you fit in the back of a pickup truck?
Only 2 - you have to leave room for the lawn mowers!
I have an uncle down at Wall Street. He used to have a corner on the market. -- Now he has a market on the corner.
"Get my broker, Miss Jones."
"Yes sir. Stock, or Pawn?"
Q: In these busy market times, how can you get the attention of your broker?
A: Say, "Hey, waiter!"
Q: How do you get a broker down from a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Just received this from my broker. I normally don't pass stock tips on, but I thought this exception would be okay. If you hold any of the following stocks, you may want to review:
--American Can Co.
--Interstate Water Co.
--National Gas Co.
--Northern Tissue Co.
Due to the uncertain market conditions, at this present time, we advise you to sit tight on your American Can, hold your Water, and let go of your Gas.
You may be interested to know that Northern Tissue touched a new bottom today, and millions were wiped clean.... |
