I propose that SMBR institute the death penalty. 12 jurors should be impaneled as a permanent star council. Since thread members are generally too busy (because we waste most of our free time posting here), the panel will be limited to college students, postal workers, retirees, government employees, gadflies, and unemployed auditors.
Accusations (indictments) will be brought randomly to achieve the combined objectives of making the thread safe and hygenic as well as promoting the fame and future prospects of the accuser. Death-eligible offenses will include: assassination (including character assassination); any felony during the course of which a murder is committed; and generally making people feel bad. Prosecutors who succeed in pandering to public or juror prejudices while appearing to be even handed will be rewarded.
Oh, and if our council gets a case wrong but we haven't killed the person yet, we'll just shrug and say that it's ok to keep sentencing people to die because, after all, we've never been proven to erroneously kill anybody (yet). After all, there is no middle ground: If we don't snuff 'em out, they will be free to wander the streets of the thread and cause further harm.
Wait, you say. There's always suspension, or maybe a prison term? Nah. Then they will be free in the future to generate further harm for future victims. Better to just be done with them, that's what I say. They're riffraff, one and all. |
