Britney Spears is not a girl
But Pop Diva Is Not Yet a Woman, Dusseldorf Scientists Conclude
GERMAN scientists who took part in a conference at the University of Dusseldorf this week have concluded that pop diva Britney Spears is not a girl, according to the published findings of the conference.
"She is not a girl," said Dr. Gustav von Helmholtz, who organized the Dusseldorf event. "However, she is not yet a woman."
The question of whether Britney Spears is a girl or a woman has puzzled scientists for years, so the Dusseldorf findings - that Ms. Spears is not a girl, not yet a woman - represent a significant breakthrough.
Furthermore, the news that Ms. Spears is not a girl, not yet a woman is crucial, the conference participants appear to be saying, because it will determine how people treat the multi-platinum artist in the future.
"There is no need to protect her," said Dr. Reimar Ertel, one of the conference participants. "It's time that she learned to face up to this on her own."
Some of the scientists who attended the Dusseldorf event indicated that, given her unique status as someone who is not a girl, not yet a woman, Ms. Spears might need, in the words of Dr. Hans Mintrop, "time, a moment that is hers, while she's in between."
The conference concluded with a screening of Ms. Spears' first film, "Crossroads," which caused several of the German scientists to observe that while Britney Spears is not a girl, not yet a woman, she is definitely not an actress.
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