Clown-Free Zone... sorry, no clowns allowed Message Board

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Pastimes : Clown-Free Zone... sorry, no clowns allowed

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To: MythMan who wrote (197342)	10/14/2002 11:15:13 AM
From: Skeeter Bug	Read Replies (1) of 436258

for your enjoyment... ;-) CEO: Chief embezzlement officer. CFO: Corporate fraud officer. EBITDA: Earnings before I tricked the damn auditor. EBIT: Earnings before irregularities and tampering. NAV: Normal Anderson valuation. FRS: Fantasy reporting standards. P/E: Parole entitlement. EPS: Eventual prison sentence. BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. MOMENTUM INVESTING - The fine art of buying high and selling low. VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower. P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER - What my broker has made me. "BUY, BUY" - A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane. STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell. STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock. STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves. FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-11 for toilet paper and cigarettes. MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks. CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet. YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share. WINDOWS 2000 - What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo @ $240 per share. INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse. PROFIT -- Religious guy who talks to God

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