Hi CobaltBlue; A lot of my ancestors were directly involved in the Civil War, and the stories that I hear is that we were beaten fair and square, and that they all knew it, and saw no real reason to continue to fight.
As to what Robert E. Lee's men told him, I have no doubt that they gave him complete support. That's what you always say to the commanding General, and they were, after all, the ones who had not already deserted and gone home:
At critical times in the war the extent of desertion prevented the South from following up victories or half-victories in the field; it was both the cause and effect of lowered morale; the amount was "appalling, incredible." Many who withdrew from the army "had little conception of the gravity of their offense." For such men desertion bore no stigma; and, in sum, it appears that this factor (which, after all, was but a reflection of many other factors) "contributed definitely to the Confederate defeats after 1862 and . . . [to] the catastrophe of 1865."
Source: "The Civil War and Reconstruction" by Randall and Donald
civilwarhome.com
-- Carl
P.S. How many links do you want from me proving that the South was falling apart in 1865? I mean really, I thought my family cherished a few myths about the South, yours must be something else. Here's a classic book on the subject:
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