Depends on the kind of abuse.
Physical abuse, which I deal with in my work, is clearly a whole different thing. I have never claimed that a woman who has been beaten up chose that or that it was her fault for getting beaten up. Nor that a man of my acquaintance who was regularly beaten up by his wife chose that, or that it was his fault for being a victim.
In 3D, abusive relationships come in many forms, and are very rarely chosen by the victim.
But none of the power inbalances which result on 3D abuse are present here. None of us her can reach out and punch someone else for not responding "properly." None of us can lock the other up in a room without food. None of us can berate the other for hours on end with no means of escape--if we don't like what's going on, all we have to is turn away from the computer and go watch a movie or read a book.
So yes, here in this artificial world it is completely different. Here a person is only a victim of another's writing because they choose to be. Because they have absolute, total control of how they respond. They can choose to be powerful, or they can choose to be weak. They can choose to be a victim, or they can choose not to be.
(I remember Poet saying after she got involved in a flame war that she enjoyed it and found herself very good at flame wars. In that case she clearly chose not to be a victim. Perhaps you remember that time also?)
Nobody forced Poet to come back to this thread. Nobody forced her to read a single one of my messages at any time over the past five years. No one forced her to respond to me at any time ever. She chose all those things.
And I think she should be held responsible and accountable for her choices, just as I expect to be held accountable and responsible for my choices.
There is no power inbalance here. There is no victimization here, except by choice. |
