The Atlanta Journal-Constitution: 10/25/02 ]
@ Wits' End
Thomas Oliver
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DaimlerChrysler may/may not come after all:
Gov. Roy Barnes plans to announce space stations will be built in Macon.
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Question on Economics 101 final:
If the cost-of-living adjustment for Social Security is pegged to the inflation rate, is a 1.4 percent increase in Social Security benefits a bad thing?
a) Yes, if you don't know diddly-squat about economics;
b) Yes, if you're trying to confuse old folks;
c) Yes, if you think there are actual benefits to inflation (see answer a);
d) No, if you have enough sense to get out of a rain shower.
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@ Wits' End endorsements of state constitutional amendments. Vote yes!
No. 1-- Income tax cuts are hereby limited to those who pay taxes.
No. 2 -- If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
No. 3 -- If it's broke, fix it before buying a new one.
No. 4 -- If it ain't yours, go get your own.
No. 5 -- SUVs shall be the state car.
No. 6 -- Any nonprofit group that derives any portion of its revenues from taxes shall be prohibited from campaigning against tax cuts.
No. 7 -- If you can't name at least one of your U.S. senators, the vice president and one of the Beatles, you can't vote.
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Here's a liberal Democrat nightmare:
1) GOP keeps the House;
2) GOP wins back the Senate;
3) With Democrat chair Terry "Conniption Fit" McAuliffe and former Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle in retreat, Sen. Zell "I told you so" Miller becomes leader of party.
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A GOP nightmare:
1) GOP keeps the House;
2) GOP wins the Senate;
3) Sen. Lincoln Chafee (R-R.I.) joins Sen. Jim Jeffords as independent, ceding Senate to Democrats.
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National nightmare:
Democrats sue over one or more losses in the Senate races, ensuring deja vu all over again.
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Can you say, feath-er-bed-ding?
Union leader, who opposed BellSouth's voluntary furloughs, says if company sees that it can get the job done without the employees, that might encourage layoffs.
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Much ado for nothing:
DeKalb County Schools to opt for voluntary dress code.
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Question on Oil & War 101 final:
Which countries have extensive oil contracts with Iraq?
1) United States
2) France
3) Russia
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Conspiracy theory?
If one thinks the United States wants to invade Iraq for its oil, what does one make of France and Russia's opposition to regime change?
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@ Wits' End riddle solved:
Conservatives believe that in life, as in poker, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Liberals think ace, deuce, one-eyed-jacks wild make for a fairer game.
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Emory University:
Where for a small fortune, we promise students will be led by professors held to the highest standards: no making up research and no abuse of hired help.
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@ Wits' End Maxims:
Dental coverage ought to include pain and suffering.
The further from reality you get, the more everything makes sense.
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Quote:
"If we couldn't laugh, we'd all go insane."
-- Jimmy Buffett
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Thomas Oliver's column appears on Fridays, except when it doesn't. |
