Time for a smile:
FOURTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK OVER 50 YEARS TO LEARN
By Dave Barry
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the
human race has not achieved, and never will achieve,
its full potential, that word would be . "meetings."
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
You should not confuse your career with your life.
Nobody cares if you can't dance well.
Just get up and dance.
Never lick a steak knife.
The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
You should never say anything to a woman that even
remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless
you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
There comes a time when you should stop expecting other
people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time
is age eleven.
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of
age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic
background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe
that we are above average drivers.
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter,
is not a nice person. (This is very important.
Pay attention. It never fails.)
Your friends love you anyway. |
