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Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here
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To: Rainy_Day_Woman who wrote (12644)12/11/2002 10:45:32 PM
From: Druss  Read Replies (2) of 12754
 
On The Road [Every word of this is true.]

My lady Jaquie and I decided to visit a small town, north of here. She has a friend there and coincidentally I went to college there so I thought it would be interesting to see it again.
Steinbeck traveled with a burro named Charley, Ralph Waldo Emerson lived alone on Walden Pond. I can only imagine their literary production if they had spent some of their time conversing with Jaquie.

Jaquie: "What is your favorite name for a girl?"
Me: "I like either Jenny or Dawn the best I think."
Jaquie: "I like Clare."
About a hour later:
Jaquie: "Can we get a monkey?"
Me: "A monkey??!! What in the world do you want a monkey for?"
Jaquie: "They are so cute."
Me: "They are also mean, it will bite the Hell out of us."
Jaquie: "Not if we are nice to it."
[So much for that argument.] Me: "They are also filthy creatures."
Jaquie: "We can put little diapers on it, you know, get the smallest Pampers."
Me: "You...want...me...to...change...monkey...diapers?!!"
Jaquie: "It will be so cute, won't it be fun?"
Me: No! Besides I don't think the city allows monkeys. I don't believe they are on the approved list of pets.
Jaquie: "We could do it if we move to the country."
Me: "We really don't have the money to move to the country just so we can have a monkey."
Jaquie: "But I want to have little Clare?"
Me: "Who is Clare?"
Jaquie: "The monkey, we can name her Jenny if you will say yes."
Me: "I don't like the name Jenny so much I want a monkey around just so I can call something Jenny. That doesn't take care of the finances of moving to the country either."
Jaquie: "OK, I like Clare better anyway, how about if I win the lottery? Can we get Clare if I win the lottery?"
[A way out!! Fortunately the reverse side of this is if she doesn't win the lottery--no monkey.]
Me: "Yes, you can get monkey if you win the lottery. [The things that I say to achieve domestic bliss.]
Jaquie: "That is a promise isn't it?"
Me: "It is a promise."
Since we needed gas we stopped at the next town and went to a place selling both gas and lottery tickets. My darling Jaquie promptly went up to the counter and ordered a lottery ticket saying cheerfully to the poor soul there: "I get to get a monkey if I win the lottery."
By good fortune I was looking at his face when he registered that statement. It was an expression to treasure and a lot better than seeing similar expressions of my own in the car mirror during the monkey discussions.
After getting in the car and setting out I had to ask:
Me: "Why did you mention the monkey to the guy at the station?"
Jaquie: "I thought it would be good luck."
Well, far be it from me to question luck, though I am uncertain at just how lucky that clerk felt he was after that short conversation.
Myself, I now have those questions people ask themselves and others about 'What would you do if you won the lottery?' answered. And funny thing I am able to handle the disappointment of not winning far better now. I guess that is some sort of luck too.
Druss
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