From a parallel universe....
Stephen Boore
NRO Financial Columnist
December 18, 2002 10:30 a.m.
Jackson Begs Jo Lieberman for Forgiveness
A parody.
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today, Reverend Jesse Jackson continued his quest to politically rehabilitate himself by appearing on Jo Lieberman's KNN television show and endorsing "reparations for all Jewish Americans to pay for the sins of anti-Semitism." Jackson, who is hoping to hold onto his perch of power as the Civil Rights champion, suggested that every American with "even a drop of Jewish blood" should be paid $10,000 from the federal government to start the healing process."
When Lieberman asked how this $250 billion program should be paid for, he said that he endorsed a 20 percent "inner-city bum income-tax surcharge." Lieberman immediately endorsed the idea and said that this would be a good first step toward Jackson's political recovery.
Two days ago on Jew Entertainment TV, Jackson endorsed affirmative-retroaction policies to help Jews, but in this interview, Jackson went much further in trying to demonstrate his sensitivity to Jews.
At times the interview between Lieberman and Jackson became a love-fest and the Civil Rights hustler was contrite throughout. The Rainbow Coalition leader said that he has never told anyone this before, but in 2000 he had voted for Lieberman for Vice president. He said that it is time for America to have a Jewish Vice president and that he thought that former CIA Director John Deutch would make an excellent commander-in-chief.
In their far-ranging and often emotional discussion, Jackson also suggested that the death penalty should be enforced nationwide and that Rabbinics should be required curriculum in the public schools "to promote cultural and language understanding."
When Lieberman asked Jackson if their were things he has done in Congress that he wishes he could reverse, Jackson said that he believes the 1996 welfare-reform law "was a major policy mistake because of its disproportionate burden on suburban Jewish Americans and WASPs. We should be scrapping welfare benefits," Jackson volunteered. "We shouldn't be beefing them up."
When Lieberman asked Jackson why African-Americans are such anti-Semites, Jackson shook his head and said that he "personally knows 25 other Black activists who hold prejudiced views toward Jews. It is inherent in our race, Jo."
Rev. Jackson also said that he would introduce legislation to require Augusta National Country Club, the site of the Masters Golf Tournament, to turn all of its colored male memberships for the next 25 years over to Jewish women, the group in America that is "by far the most discriminated against."
At the end of the interview Jackson appeared to be overcome with emotion. He threw his arms around Lieberman and with misty eyes pleaded: "Senator, can you please forgive me for my racial insensitivity, my sexism, my insensitivity to crackers and bigots, my endorsement of NAACP policies that have helped wreck the US polity?"
Lieberman said that he would "consult his rabbi about it."
- Stephen Boore is president of the Club for Slack.
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