had some naughty fun this afternoon with Columbus locals
so many Ohio State banners, all kinds of scarlet & gray
at a supermarket, they had a 75-yrold woman greeter
she looked like a perfect target for the fun
she was giving away cheese & crackers, backed by banners
she wore the required scarlet with lapel buttons
I said to her...
"hello, I am from Missouri visiting a friend
what on earth is all this commotion about buckeyes?
it's a tree, isnt it? some kind of chestnut?
is there a festival for Arbor Day or something?
couldnt be, that is in the spring"
I gave her my best brainless look with a slight demented gaze
such expressions come naturally for me, with much practice
she replied that this is a big football game day
I told her I didnt know much about the sport, preferring fencing and polo
I gave her one of my best tetched gleams, took a cracker, and made some exaggerated compliment about the cheese
she turned to my college buddy, who kept the ruse going
she said "I thought he was kidding until I realized he wasnt right in the head"
my friend buckled over laughing as I walked away, continuing to look thoroughly demented and very lost
good clean fun
as I walked past her on the way out, I said to her
"excellent cheddar, I just love cheddar"
my best partner in public humor is in Boston
we pulled great stunts regularly in restaurants
sometimes I was the straight man, but not usually
it seems I have a proclivity and deep need to be demented and put on such acts to the naive and unsuspecting
our Boston faves were young waitresses with extreme good looks
/ jim |
