Here's one for the ladies (cribbed this piece of blaspheme from the Stool):
A WOMAN'S SECRET
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.
"God, I have a problem."
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful
garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that
hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"God, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall
create a man for you."
"Man? What is that God?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie,
cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll
be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. He will
look silly when he is aroused, but since you've been complaining,
I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical
needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish
things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too
smart, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised
eyebrows, "but what's the catch God?"
"Well.....you can have him on one condition."
"And what's that God?">
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and
self-admiring.....so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first.
And it will have to be our little secret.
You know, woman to woman." |
