***I SURE CAN RELATE TO THIS PERSPECTIVE...
Country deserves tough love from citizens
By LYNN WILLEFORD
GUEST COLUMNIST
the Seattle Post-Intelligencer
Monday, January 27, 2003
I was 23 before I was finally able to vote in a presidential election and my first vote went to George McGovern for his courageous stand against the war in Southeast Asia. Americans who didn't support the war were considered unpatriotic and their love for their country was questioned. I had my say at the ballot box and not in the streets, but such slogans as "America --Love it or leave it" and "My country right or wrong" were hurled at anyone who disagreed with foreign policy.
Thirty years have passed and I'm getting more than a whiff of that same attitude in the ongoing discussion of America's role in the world. In the intervening years, though, I've become a parent and have a new take on this tension between those who agree with government policy and those who don't.
Every parent knows it's a pretty poor sort of love if you cannot find the discipline or the courage to stop someone you love from wrong or dangerous behavior. As a mother, it was my job to teach my child to share his toys and be kind to others. It was my job to teach him not to hit other kids, not to cross the street without checking for cars and not to touch anything with a Mr. Yuk label on it.
I instructed, nagged and occasionally punished my child because I loved him and I wanted him to grow up to be a good person who would play a useful role in the greater community. I would love him no matter how awful he was, but it was still my responsibility to guide and correct his behavior until he reached adulthood. When he broke the rules, I didn't get rid of him. I pointed out the error of his ways and worked with him on changing his behavior. Isn't this a sign of good parenting and a loving relationship? Why should it be any different with countries?
Continuing the family analogy, let's look at what we do if dad's drinking is out of control, little brother is hooked on crank or grandma's health is in jeopardy from obesity. A loving family member speaks up, even when everyone else wants to stay in denial to "be nice." The stakes -- a person's life -- are too big here. So if America has become drunk on power, are you the bad relative if you call attention to the fact and ask for an intervention?
This country was founded by people who didn't want to be told what to do, religious and political dissenters who may have loved their mother country but eventually spoke out about her deplorable behavior. Centuries later, America and "Mother England" still remain close. Think of it as Tough Love.
It is my right and my duty as an American citizen to speak out when I think my country has embarked on immoral or dangerous behavior. I do it because I love my country. Neither kids nor countries benefit from unwarranted praise, denial of problems or unconditional acceptance of all behaviors.
If I see my country refusing to share its toys, bullying smaller countries, telling lies or bragging about its riches in the face of others' poverty, I've got no choice but to give it a talking-to because it's too big to send to the Gobi Desert for a time-out.
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Lynn Willeford lives in Langley. Submissions for First Person, of up to 800 words, can be e-mailed to editpage@seattlepi.com; faxed to 206-448-8184 or mailed to the Seattle Post-Intelligencer, P.O. Box 1909, Seattle, WA 98111-1909.
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