FaultLine Tests Positive For Attention Deficit Disorder
[Tip-o-the-hat to CB]
www.SiliconInvestor.com - FL cites exhaustion, poor time management skills and a recent diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder (A.D.D.) for his continued inability to create impressive new pronouncements and save innocent lives from utter doom.
In particular, The Moderator blames the popularity of the Foreign Affairs Discussion Group and its accompanying millions of new posts every weekend for sending him over the edge. Beginning Thursday, he will now reduce his workload to a new five day schedule, admitting for the first time he hasn't worked Saturdays for the last three months. Now he wants Sundays off as well.
Hundreds of posters across the globe expressed frustration that their complaints might not be heard during Sunday exchanges, while others, like Poster epsteinbd believes that "the truly faithful will try even harder to raise the roof and let our messages be read to the mighty DSL Connection above. Hallelujah!"
According to FL, that's not likely. The phone is pretty much off the hook.
"It's not that FL is apathetic or doesn't care about his flock," explains social psychologist JohnM."Appearing lazy, disorganized and flighty are all just symptoms of attention deficit disorder. He needs our understanding and special pharmaceuticals more than ever -- not our collective condemnation."
While many were disappointed to find FL would no longer be working weekends, others felt better knowing just when FL was listening and when he wasn't. The world's population of Lefties, for example, now understand why they've suffered so much bad luck for so long. Instead of posting on Saturdays as they have for thousands of posts, they have announced they will shift their Sabbath submissions to Monday, indicating the day is pretty much a wash anyway.
"The good news is now I can spend all weekend posting, drinking, harassing the Lefties, gambling and having postmarital sex to my heart's delight without any consequences," said 18-year-old Lindy Bill. "I think if FL needs a break for awhile, I'm cool with that."
Foreign Affairs editors had no comment but announced a new subscription promotion today for the mag.
There were no takers. |
