Hey, what did you guys do pass this to everyone on the net or something? :) I haven't been able to log onto the site for two days, then I read this message from LT SMASH today.
Fifteen Minutes
OK, I’m back.
lt-smash.com
Hey, where did all of these people come from? I go away for a few days, and someone throws a party on my web site!
I started this journal with the idea that it would be a good way to keep my family and friends up to date on my adventures. I never knew that I had so many friends – the server logs tell me I’m getting upwards of 6,000 hits per day! My mailbox is full. While I was out, this site was been linked from all over the Internet, and mentioned on a handful of national radio programs.
So, I’d like to take this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to deliver the following message:
“Hi Mom!”
Now that I’ve got that out of my system, let’s get organized. First, let me welcome all the new readers. Your thoughtful comments and kind emails are appreciated. Unfortunately, I haven’t had time to read them all, much less respond to them. Hey, I’m working here!
Second, if you haven’t already done so, please read the Orientation and Site Regs.
Third, I’d like to respond to some of your more common questions and remarks with a sort of virtual press conference. Here we go:
Q: Is L.T. Smash your real name?
A: No. I borrowed it from The Simpsons.
Q: Where are you? What branch of the service are you in? What unit? What is your specialty?
A: This is an anonymous journal. I’m being intentionally vague about who I am and what I’m doing. Those who know me can fill in the blanks. The rest of you will have to use your imagination.
Q: Can’t you get in trouble for this sort of thing? Isn’t this a violation of Military Regulations?
A: I’m in the military -- I can get in trouble for just about anything. But generally speaking, this form of communication is bound by the same rules as email. Due to the open nature of this medium, however, I am voluntarily observing my own, stricter guidelines in regards to operational security. For example, I won’t give out my unit, location, or use any real names (except public figures like Tony Blair or Saddam Hussein).
Q: I’m a reporter for a major media outlet, and I have a few questions…
A: No comment.
Q: You’re such a brave man. Good men are hard to find. You military guys are into physical fitness, right? I like brave, strong men like you. I’ll bet you’re good looking, too.
A: Mrs. Smash sure seems to think so.
Q: Can I send you care packages?
A: No, thanks -- Mrs. Smash, Mom, and Dad send me everything I need, and a PX trailer recently opened up at my camp. We get so many cookie crumbs through the mail now that I’m worried about gaining all the weight that I’ve lost, and the hand-written valentine cards from all of the elementary schools have really brightened up the tent.
Q: What about that guy in your unit who never gets mail – can I shower him with cookie love?
A: He’s already taken care of. In fact, that guy now gets more care packages than most of the rest of us. We hate him now. But thanks for the gesture.
Q: Pay no attention to all those war protestors. Most of us are behind you 110 percent!
A: What war protestors? I have yet to see one out here. Not sure they actually exist.
Q: I’ve done some digging, and I think I know who you are.
A: Hmm… now might be a good time for me to thank Kevin and his brother in California again for registering and hosting this web site for me. And I apologize for swamping the server.
Q: You haven’t posted anything in a while. Are you OK?
A: I’m fine, thanks. I don’t always have the time to get on the Internet, although I do try to write something every day, and post when I can. I’m usually pretty busy -- I’m sure you understand.
Q: When does the war start?
A: Next question?
Q: Will we wait for the new moon to attack? Does it have to be high tide?
A:
Q: I’d like to buy you a beer.
A: Thanks. You might have to wait a little while, though.
Q: You are such an excellent role model! I read your journal to my kids every night before bed.
A: Uh, thanks. This isn’t exactly Mother Goose, but I’ll be sure to watch my language for the kids.
Q: We are so proud of you! We say a prayer for you every day.
A: Thanks. Keep ‘em coming.
Q: We love you!
A: Right back atcha. That’s why I’m here.
TRANSMISSION FROM L.T. Smash 1229Z | SPEAK FREELY (19) |
