>>Juan Gato's Bucket o' Rants
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March 18, 2003
Now that I've spent well over a whole year being an unpaid pundit, I have decided I'm a full authority on pretty much everything. As such, I'd like to take this time to present a glossary of terms that, when I started this site, I clearly did not understand. I do this as a service to you, the reader. I know that as a blogger I am at the forefront of human evolution, changing the way the world thinks, revolutionizing media, shaking the foundations of geopolitics with the every click and clack of our keyboards and raising tax revenue by drinking so much. Watch as we hold conferences to enforce to ourselves how swell we are! Watch as the world holds its breath for our every pronouncement! Old media, behold we new titans and tremble!
But I digress. On to the glossary:
Nuance: Opposition to United States policy. Often expressed in simplistic terms.
Peace: The complete lack of action from the United States no matter how many must suffer or die.
Dissent: Wearing costumes.
Crushing of Dissent/McCarthyism: Publicly disagreeing with someone more noble. Publicly pointing out flaws in the arguments of those more noble.
Censorship: Only appearing on TeeVee 5 times a week instead of the full 7.
Days of Action: Movie where Tom Cruise met Nicole Kidman.
Facts: Things that get in the way of Truth.
Truth: Something that must be believed regardless of facts. Example: 5,000 civilians were killed in Afghanistan. Did not actually happen, but the US wanted to kill that many and more so that means it is truth.
Racism: Thinking non-whites shouldn't have to live under oppressive, murderous tyrants.
Solidarity: Public nudity to tell those who would be stoned for public nudity that, hey, we care because we're naked.
Multilateral: Doing what the French want.
Unilateral: Going forward without the support of the New York Times.
Oil: When it ain't the Jews, it's this.
Militant: Anyone who kills a member of the oppressive power structure.
Moron: The one thing that hasn't changed over the last year and more.<<
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