| My returns are close to those I'd make if I were panning for gold in Love Canal, Bob. I have, however, been able to achieve a relaxing alpha state while contemplating TA charts and endeavoring to remain breathing. This becomes easier at the market close (cocktail hour, when I've also been able to achieve the breath of fire). 
 Raising one's consciousness, as opposed to simply improving one's mind, is a noble goal, and what better means than staring at a cathode ray tube connected to an obsolete computer with a tenous connection to the World Wide Web?
 
 I tried to improve my mind with TA books years ago (or was it decades?), but my thoughts got tangled up in the logarithmic spiral. I moved on to programming simple TA ideas, and was able to sell some of my charting ideas to a manufacturer of kaleidoscopes. If I'd been more successful at losing money through speculation, I would have been forced to start a newsletter, but so far, I haven't been that desperate.
 
 Enthusiastic testimonial: "I'm thankful you don't have a newsletter!!! Do you know of any other technical analysts who haven't tried finally making some money by launching a newsletter? I don't." -- Eddie, Illinois.
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