The Mogambo Guru gets loose with a modest proposal to save the ClownBuck! From todays Daily Reckoning:
dailyreckoning.com
And here we come to the exciting part where I get to unveil my New Plan To Save America And The Dollar! I thought I had arranged for sudden spotlights and a brass band to come in right here, fanfares and laser-light shows, but I don't see them so I guess we will have to go on without them. Examining the fine details of my New Plan To Save America And The Dollar, we firstly posit that we would save trees and precious computer memory, both of which we need to conserve, if we didn't use them to print or account for money. Then, next, we posit that we have a lot of dogs. And the dogs make a lot of dog poop, which we don't want to conserve, and in fact we want to get rid of it. So, do you see where I am going with this? Yes, right! It's so obvious! Make dog poop into money! The Supreme Court said that money does not have to be silver and gold, even though it is expressly written in the Constitution, for crying out loud, that it MUST be made of silver and gold, so obviously there is nothing written anywhere that says that money has to be made of paper or computer bits, either! And even if there WAS something written mandating that money be only of paper and computer bits, it wouldn't mean anything to the Supremes! "Screw that!" they'll say again!
So, following my brilliant new plan, hereinafter referred to as The Plan, we get rid of unsightly and unsanitary dog litter, and at the same time institute Doggie-Doo Bucks as the official currency of the United States! Don't you just love it? Man, am I a genius or what? I only hope the Nobel Prize committee is watching! In case they are, does my hair look okay? And soon, and I am giggling like a giddy schoolgirl in anxious anticipation as I write this, I will be able to afford rampant, mindless consumption on a scale hitherto undreamt of, because my dog is putting out money like you won't believe! Man's best friend, indeed!
Now, before you start cashing in those Kruggerands to get some Doggie-Doo Bucks, I gotta say that I'm not really sure if the Doggie-Doo Bucks idea is really going to pan out, as I am just now finishing up the preliminary work in that area, mainly the back yard, but you gotta admit that there is a limited supply of dog droppings out there to be coined into money, and beyond giving the term "filthy lucre" a whole mew meaning, scarcity is one of the benefits of using gold as money.
We know that you cannot have economic destruction caused by ruination-by-oversupply of the currency when your money is gold, because the government cannot simply print gold. By extension, you cannot have economic destruction caused by ruination of the currency when your money is dog poop, because the government cannot simply print up dog poop, either.
And the irony is, that in the end, since both the US fiat dollar and a pile of dried dog poop have roughly the same intrinsic value right now, namely zero, to continue allowing pervasive, massive money creation and debt-formation guarantees that one day they will both have roughly the same extrinsic value, too. How charming. |
