Iraq's Seize Control Of Entire U.S. Military
4/4/2003 - G. Alan Groop
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Baghdad, Iraq - Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, a last-minute replacement for Saddam Hussein, dealt a severe blow to the coalition forces in his television address. "He essentially blew the lid off the web of deceptive propaganda presented by the media", states an anonymous, drifter reporter fearful of being fired from his new job.
"We are winning the war", states al-Sahaf, "We have them just where we want them. We are beating the hell out of their bombs and missiles with our buildings. So far every one of their weapons has been destroyed by our superior buildings. We have successfully defeated major coalition divisions, and currently have over 3,000,000 American Prisoners of War. Our elite Navy has taken control of several aircraft carriers, and we are currently test-flying B-2 bombers we stole from the U.S. Air Force when we seized control of them last week. In fact, Saddam couldn't be here because he having such a good time driving around the M-1 tank we got him when we took over the U.S. Army. This week we plan to take over the Marines and Special Forces, then we're heading to Qatar to carpet-bomb their Central Command", Al-Sahaf gloated.
In closing, al-Sahaf stated, "Let's go and do jihad." Throughout the world, parody songwriters are scrambling to find a melody to slip those words into. I'm thinking Barry Manilow's 'Copa Cabana' would do nicely, but that may just be me. |
