In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam
Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies,
housing, education--anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally
comes up with a domestic agenda and it's for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that
here if it works out." --Jay Leno
"Democrats were quick to point out that President Bush's budget creates a one
trillion dollar deficit. The White House quickly responded with 'Hey quick,
look over there, it's Saddam Hussein!'" --Craig Kilborn
"War continues in Iraq. They're calling it Operation Iraqi Freedom. They were
going to call it Operation Iraqi Liberation until they realized that spells
OIL." --Jay Leno
"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage
war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the
American voters to become president, either." --David Letterman
"The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the
support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you
want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an
imperialist,the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain." --Bill
Maher
"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass
destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's
just one problem--it's in North Korea." --Jon Stewart
"CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into three
parts...regular, premium and unleaded." --Jay Leno
"Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi
border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually
tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is." --Jon
Stewart
"The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation
Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular." --Jay Leno
"President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that
democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a
good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq? We
can't even get this in Florida." --Jay Leno |
