Dear friend in Huambo Region,
My name is Doctor Greensputin, and I am the top of the bunch here at the Lucrative Council for the Liberation of Your Money.
I, with the able help of my assistants, Professor Bernankaput, Madam Nasdaq Q and her second assistant, Missy Fantastic Productivity, have uncovered another amazing money liberating scheme requiring a goodly portion of your cash and home equity savings, assuming you have any, and if not, go borrow some fiat trash at any friendly and immoral bank.
The scheme will return, and of course to you, in a metaphorical way, extraordinary gains, in a spiritual sense, in almost no time, cosmologically speaking, much moolah, as in bread, scratch, cash, money, wealth.
All you need to do to take advantage of us is to promise, on your own good conscience, to pay us a mere trifle sum of 5% of the gains, and we will work to enrich you.
Oops, I got so excited I forgot to describe the actual construct of the scheme itself.
Well, I must go to an appointment right now, you know, hobnobbing with very important people who like to share my light. Needless to say, the structure of the deal is foolproof, and the return premise most sound. Should you have an interest in said schema, please contact me at greensputin@fed.gov
Sincerely, Greensputin |
