He's (Clinton) history
By Steve Tefft
Has he left yet? Former President (boy, does it feel good to write that) Bill Clinton is like the character from the old Saturday Night Live skit, The Guest who Wouldn't Leave. Well, like it or not, he's history in more ways than one.
But before we send him off to wherever he's going, it would be fun and instructive to look back at some of the items, quotes and scenes that made the Clinton presidency what it was.
Eight years ago, would any of this have seemed possible from an American president?
Conferring new meaning on the phrase "come over to the house for a cup of coffee."
Firing mulligan after mulligan on the golf courses of the Vineyard, after which he claimed to have shot an 89.
Gennifer. Elizabeth. Kathleen. Paula. Dolly. Juanita. And, of course, Monica.
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
Vince Foster's death. We know "what" (suicide), but we still don't know "why."
Unforgettable photograph #1: Clinton crony David Watkins saluting a golf bag as he boarded the Marine One helicopter, which he had commandeered for a personal trip to the links.
Unforgettable photograph #2: Actress Markie Post and TV producer Linda Bloodworth holdings hands, gleefully jumping up and down on a bed in the Lincoln Bedroom. Yes, Abraham Lincoln's bed.
Selling that same Lincoln Bedroom to the highest bidder.
Selling an Arlington National Cemetery plot to the highest bidder Democrat fundraiser Larry Lawrence.
Hillary's mass firing of travel office employees on trumped-up charges that were laughed out of court by a Washington jury. "We need those people out, we need our people in."
Unforgettable video clip: the president exiting Commerce Secretary Ron Brown's funeral, interrupting a hearty laugh to break into tears for the benefit of a TV news crew.
Clinton staffers stealing $540 worth of towels, monogrammed bathrobes and other items from the USS George Washington during 1994's Normandy anniversary ceremonies. They were returned, but only after the story became public.
"That depends on what your meaning of the word 'is' is."
Hillary's law firm billing records, miraculously turning up in her room two years after they were subpoenaed. (Maybe the painters moved them, she said.)
HillaryCare.
A thousand stolen FBI files whose content surfaced repeatedly as needed to smear the political enemy of the day.
Bombing Kosovo; such a massive waste of time, effort, money and materiel.
Bombing a Sudanese aspirin factory; militarily worthless but politically priceless, as it deflected attention away from Monica.
Bombing Iraq the day before impeachment an act so blatantly cynical it worked.
Gays in the military an item so important to the Clinton Clan it was his first order of business after taking the oath.
"Thank you for saving me from the draft."
Joycelyn Elders. Lani Guinere. Zoe Baird. Kimba Wood.
Dick Morris, a.k.a. The Toe Sucker.
"We shot these two ducks, the only ones we saw." Then, 10 seconds later: "We saw dozens of beautiful ducks filling the skies"
From Hillary: "We are the President."
The biggest tax increase in American history.
The middle-class tax cut. Have you gotten YOURS yet?
"The era of big government is over."
Making a cross out of stones on a Normandy beach; stones that had been arranged by a staffer to provide a photo-op.
Replacing a small flag at a soldier's Normandy grave a flag that had been yanked out of the ground by a staffer to provide a photo-op.
Selling military secrets to the Chinesea maneuver that will haunt us for years to come.
Impeachment, a permanent mark of disgrace that Clinton tried with some success to turn into a badge of honor.
"I didn't inhale"
Earning a contempt citation from an Arkansas federal judge, a first for an American president.
Soliciting "moral counseling" from that paragon of virtue, Jesse Jackson (wonder how THAT conversation went behind closed doors).
A stagy, tacky Hollywood-style corridor walk to the podium at last year's Democratic Convention, designed to make him appear like a heavyweight fighter on his way to the ring.
Three count 'em, three "farewell" addresses.
A graceless cross-country tribute to himself.
An unprecedented series of public potshots taken at his successor.
Releasing a slew of pardons an hour before George W. Bush's inauguration, guaranteeing more press coverage.
Demanding and getting an Air Force One-sized plane for his trip "home" to New York.
Reviewing a line of soldiers two hours after leaving office when he wasn't even President anymore.
And then, several hours after the inaugural, "I've left the White House, but I'm still here!"
Please, Bill, don't remind us. Your time is up. Go. Just go. |
