SADDAM NABBED BUYING POTTER BOOK
borowitzreport.com
CIA Wraps Up Madman at Topeka Barnes and Noble
CIA agents nabbed Saddam Hussein at midnight Friday while the former Iraqi strongman was waiting in line at a Topeka, Kansas Barnes and Noble bookstore to buy the just-released Harry Potter book, the spy agency revealed today.
Hundreds of customers were waiting outside the store for the midnight release of the book, “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,” little suspecting that the brutal dictator was in their midst.
But a sharp-eyed seven-year-old, Gavin Dineen of Topeka, positively identified the Iraqi madman waiting in line to buy the hotly anticipated J.K. Rowling book.
“Mommy, I think that’s the ace of spades,” young Mr. Dineen reportedly told his mother, who quickly notified authorities.
While White House spokesman Ari Fleischer said that President Bush was “pleased” by the capture of Mr. Hussein in Topeka, intelligence experts were holding off celebrating until they could determine whether the man they had in custody was in fact Saddam or merely one of his ten thousand-plus look-alikes.
The mustachioed despot has been known for dispatching his doubles to retail outlets around the world to procure the latest books, CDs and DVDS.
Two weeks ago, a Saddam look-alike was spotted at a Ticketmaster in Ft. Myers, Florida buying tickets to the upcoming Justin Timberlake/Christina Aguilera summer tour.
In other Iraq news, today interim administrator L. Paul Bremer announced that he “finally had some good news to report.”
Mr. Bremer said that while the process of reconstruction in Iraq remained slow, the good news was that he had just saved a bundle on his car insurance by calling GEICO Direct. |
