Here's some answers to other questions---
>These questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism
>Website.
>
>1. Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?
>(UK)
>A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them
>die.
>
>2. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
>A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
>
>3. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad
>tracks? (Sweden)
>A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .
>
>4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
>A: So its true what they say about Swedes.
>
>5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
>contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
>A: Let's not touch this one.
>
>6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list
>of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
>A: What did your last slave die of?
>
>7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
>A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da
>is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing
>
>is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
>
>8. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
>A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
>we'll send the rest of the directions.
>
>9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
>A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
>
>10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
>A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is. .
>. oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in
>Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races.
>Come naked.
>
>11. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
>A: No, WE don't stink.
>
>12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
>
>tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
>A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
>
>13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
>A: You are an American politician, right?
>
>14. Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female
>population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
>A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
>
>15. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
>A: Only at Thanksgiving.
>
>17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
>round? (Germany)
>A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is
>illegal.
>
>18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense
>rattlesnake serum. (USA)
>A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be safely
>handled and make good pets.
>
>19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
>name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
>A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the brains of
>anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself
>with human urine before you go out walking.
>
>21. Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I
>dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
>A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
>
>22. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
>A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
> |
