DAYTRADING: The Highs and the Woes
As I walked into doc Kronkite's reception room for my regular Saturday morning session with the brilliant analyst I reached forward to plant a peck, as I am wont to do, on the lovely cheek of Miss Tushbumper, the doc's strikingly attractive receptionist.
I was taken aback when Miss Tushbumper turned away and said, "Doctor is very cross with you."
Cross? Nobody had been cross with me since I was in the third grade and my teacher, Miss Inkwell said, "I am very cross with you."
So you can imagine my trepidation as I entered doc Kronkite's office.
"YOU!" he hollered. "Are you trying to ruin me? Are you trying to make a laughing stocking of me with my brother analysts? Are you trying to get me ostrichsized within the shrinking community? Better you should just hit me on the head with a frozen leg of lamb. It would hurt less."
"Doc!" I cried. "What is it, what did I do?"
"Do, do?" he said. "I learned through the grapejuice vine that you've been writing about me. Writing about our sessions! Aren't you aware of doctor-patient confabularity? I have a strict canyon of ethics you know."
Doc Kronkite tended toward extreme malapropism when stressed. He was clearly in stress. But I got his meaning.
"But doc, I just wanted to share your brilliant insights with my loyal readers. You know how much you've helped me become a better trader."
"I have? Yes, yes of course. I'm a specialist you know."
"I know doc. And now thousands of other traders know it too. Gee doc, I wouldn't be surprised if some of them wanted you to be their analyst."
"You think so?" he asked.
"Sure doc. You may even have to move to larger quarters to accommodate the overflow."
"On the couch lie down, lie down already and talk on me."
I eased my weary body onto the doc's lumpy couch.
"What do you write? Where do you write? Copies I want. On the wall I could put them, right next to my picture of Sigmund Freud."
"Well doc," I began. "I write every week on Bobby’s thread.
The doc beamed at this. "So thousands of traders read about me every week? What do you tell them?"
"I tell them about our sessions and how you've cured me of insomnia, hives, heartburn, locked bowels and the stress I used to get from trading and how you've straightened out my love life, especially that little problem I had last year with premature congratulations. And of course I constantly refer to your best-seller, "The Truss: Friend or Foe" a brilliant book doc about traders and their emotional problems."
"I want you to continue this writing," the doc said. "It's very important for your progress in analysis. It will help make you a better trader."
"Sure doc. Now can we talk about my trading week? It was pretty exciting, but also rather stressful."
"Ok, tell me about your week. Leave nothing out."
"Well doc," I began. The market, that's the Nasdaq, was up Monday and Tuesday and I did ok. But late Thursday and Friday morning we began to do some shorting."
"What's this shorting you keep talking about?"
"Gee, doc, it's a way to profit when stocks drop.”
"Don't remind me. My portfolio is weaker than the Red Sox bullpen. Continue."
"Well, we shorted the QQQ’s and the E-minis Friday in the trading room.”
"No!"
"Yes.”
"And these went down?"
"Indeed they did doc."
"And what exactly do you do in this trading room?”
"Well doc, there are six of us. We share trading ideas, help eachert out, and have a hell of a time. But it can be stressful doc.”
"Maybe you're trying to follow too many stocks. My advice is to follow only one or two."
"Doc, you're a genius! That's what I've been doing lately."
"Of course," he said. I'm a specialist you know. What did you focus on this week?"
"Well, I traded some LOUD and CHRT." I said.
"And how did they do?" he asked.
"Pretty good. Got a trade out of each of them. Might have done a bit better but I sold into strength and they went a bit higher. See doc, I’m an orthodox day-trader, so I’ve gotta take the trade when I get it. And of course, I sometimes get nervous.”
"We'll work on that next week. By the way, how's your trading-partner, the little guy who speaks in a clipped British accent? Doodlegrunter?"
"That's Dortmunder doc. He's spending the weekend with Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan. He's Greenspan's chief advisor now."
"No!"
"Yes, doc. It seems that Greenspan is in a quandry. Doesn't know what to do. He's having trouble making decisions. I think he's under a lot of stress, maybe even in crisis doc. His wife won't even speak to him."
"Tell him to call me, maybe I can fit him in. Did I tell you I was a specialist?"
"Yes doc."
"Good. Our time is up. Keep writing about our sessions.
"I will. And doc? Thanks."
Lee Kramer
Copyright 7/12/03 |
