New York Times, February 13, 1784
by Ima Revisionist and Shu Ona Otherfut, staff reporters
His Excellency General Lafayette today announced the members of the American Consultative Council, who would advise the General in governing the new American Kingdom.
The General, speaking from his headquarters in Philadelphia, said, "The brutal British imperialists, and their German mercenaries, who have inflicted so much suffering and death in America, have been defeated. The French Navy controls the coast. The French Army, with some help from General Washington's native army, has prevailed. With our aid, weapons, and advisors from the French Army, General Washington now leads a respectable force, which has helped us in many ways, in defeating the common enemy. They will be rewarded. We are currently considering whether to appoint General Washington as King. He has already indicated a willingness to pledge submission and fealty to the French Emperor.
The American Consultative Council has been carefully chosen, by me, to reflect the cultural, ethnic, and religious diversity of America. I'm confidant I can work with them, and will only overrule their decisions in exceptional circumstances. The only groups who have been excluded, are pro-British traitors, and the radical terrorists, who call themselves democrats and republicans."
In other news, several outlaws, the remnants of criminal bands who had resisted the French Governing Authority, were hanged in Boston Common today. Among the hanged rebels, were Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, Thom Paine, and Patrick Henry. |
