<The real reason was starting an urban renewal project in the Mideast>
How can I get the attention of Washington, to start a rural renewal project in Alaska? We've got a lot of rural towns here, with no policemen, because of budget cutbacks. So, when some bozo gets drunk and beats his wife, there is no one to arrest him, or intervene. Also, a lot of places out here don't have any running water, flush toilets, internet access, paved roads....the list is long. Gosh, with $4B/month, we could hire private tutors for every schoolchild, so No Child Gets Left Behind.
How about, if we seceded, and set up the Islamic Republic of Alaska? Then, you can conquer us (we promise to fight even less than the Iraqi army), and then you spend $4B/month on rural renewal projects here. We'd throw flowers on your tanks, and even hold elections and such, a real NeoCon success story. Much more fun and rewarding than Iraq. |
