I am going to put forward something that will be found objectionable by many people, which is that love is not primarily a sentiment, but a moral disposition to hold the well- being of another roughly equivalent to your own. The benchmark of love is one's disposition towards one's children, whom you love because they are yours to watch over. To put it another way, love, in that case, is acting upon the aspiration to be a good father or mother, and the feelings that go along with that: concern, worry, frustration, anger, fulfillment, pride, gratitude, and so forth.
In the same way, marital love is an emotional commitment to one's spouse, upon whatever basis he or she is selected. Yes, we also wish to be happier as a result of getting together with the person; we wish to find companionship; and we wish to be treated with reciprocal consideration. Additionally, there is the hunger for the other, the sense of intimacy and sexual attraction conjoined, that we search for. But in the longer run, the thing which keeps it all going is that commitment, that devotion, that sense that you would more readily give up a limb than a wife, not romantic infatuation...... |
