' [Buzz]
Secretary:
Ooh! Good afternoon, sir. May I help you?
Customer:
Yes, I'd like to have an argument, please.
Secretary:
Certainly, sir. Uhm, have you been here before?
Customer:
Ah, no, this is my first time.
Secretary:
I see. Well, do you want to have just one argument or were you thinking of taking a course?
Customer:
Well, uh, what is the cost?
Secretary:
Yes, it's one pound for a five-minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.
Customer:
Well, I think I'll just try the one and see how it goes from there.
Secretary:
Fine. Ah, yes, try Mr. Barnard, Room 12.
Customer:
Thank you very much.
Mr. Barnard:
What do you want?
Customer:
Well, I just was...
Mr. Barnard:
Don't give me that, you snorty-faced pair of parrot droppings! Shut your festering gob, you
tit! Your type make me puke, you vacuous ---- stuffing old malodrious pervert!
Customer:
Listen, I came here for an argument!
Mr. Barnard:
Oh, oh, I'm sorry, but this is Abuse!
Customer:
Oh, oh, I see!
Mr. Barnard:
Hahaha!
Customer:
Terribly sorry.
Mr. Barnard:
No, you want Room 12A, next door.
Customer:
Oh, I see. Thank you very much.
Mr. Barnard:
Not at all.
Customer:
Uhuh!
Mr. Barnard:
Stupid git...
Customer:
Uh, is this the right room for an argument?
Argumentator:
I told you once.
Customer:
Uh, no, you haven't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I have.
Customer:
When?
Argumentator:
Just now.
Customer:
No, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I did.
Customer:
You didn't!
Argumentator:
I did.
Customer:
No, you didn't!
Argumentator:
I'm telling you I did!
Customer:
You most certainly did not!
Argumentator:
Ah, wait a moment, is this the five-minute argument or the full half hour?
Customer:
Oh, oh, I see. Just the five-minute.
Argumentator:
Just the five minutes... Right, thank you. Anyway, I did.
Customer:
Oh, no, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Now let's get one thing absolutely clear. I most definitely told you.
Customer:
No, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I did.
Customer:
No, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I did.
Customer:
No, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I did.
Customer:
No, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I did.
Customer:
No, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I did.
Customer:
No, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I did.
Customer:
No, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I did.
Customer:
No, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I did.
Customer:
No, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I did.
Customer:
No, you didn't.
Argumentator:
Yes, I did.
Customer:
Oh, look, this isn't an argument!
Argumentator:
Yes, it is!
Customer:
No, it isn't! It's just contradiction!
Argumentator:
No, it isn't!
Customer:
It is!
Argumentator:
It is not!
Customer:
It is! You just contradicted me!
Argumentator:
I did not!
Customer:
You did!
Argumentator:
No, no, no!
Customer:
You did just that!
Argumentator:
Nonsense!
Customer:
Oh, this is futile!
Argumentator:
No, it isn't.
Customer:
Yes, it is. I came here for a good argument.
Argumentator:
No, you didn't. You came here for an argument.
Customer:
Yes, but an argument isn't just contradiction!
Argumentator:
Well, can be.
Customer:
No, an argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
Argumentator:
No, it isn't!
Customer:
Yes, it is! It isn't just contradiction!
Argumentator:
Look, if I argue with you, I must take a contrary position.
Customer:
Yes, but that isn't just saying "No, it isn't!"
Argumentator:
Yes, it is!
Customer:
No, it isn't!
Argumentator:
Yes, it is!
Customer:
No, it isn't!
Argumentator:
Yes, it is!
Customer:
No, it isn't!
Argumentator:
Yes, it is!
Customer:
No, it isn't!
Argumentator:
Yes, it is!
Customer:
Argument is an intellectual process. Contradiction is just a automatic gain-say of anything the
other person says!
Argumentator:
It is not!
Customer:
It is!
Argumentator:
Not at all!
Customer:
Now look...
Bell:
[Pling]
Argumentator:
Thank you! Good morning!
Customer:
What?
Argumentator:
That's it! Good morning!
Customer:
I was just getting interested!
Argumentator:
Uh, I'm sorry, the five minutes is up!
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