One can only criticize people for not inviting others if there were reason for the others to expect to be invited, and to resent the lapse. It is not "mean" to fail to invite those who have no claim to be invited, it is both necessary (I cannot feed everyone) and part of liberty (I get to choose my friends). The person has to stand in a certain relationship to one, and the purpose of the barbeque has to be consulted, as well. If I have a BBQ for my extended family, I will not likely invite business associates, and vice- versa.
The case where one invites almost the whole class is not nice because the exclusion seems pointed, but I have had birthday parties for my son where he invited whomever he wanted, up to a dozen people, not all drawn from one class, and thought nothing of it, since these were his friends. It is only a special case if it is structured to make the person feel that he is not good enough to come with an otherwise indiscriminate guest list, and it is exceptional. Under ordinary circumstances, there has to be, in fact, an implied duty to invite the person, or the person is being unreasonable to complain...... |
