My closest golfing buddy...aged 75 just beat cancer...for three years he was so ill that he had to walk with a cane. Tom could drive the ball 300 yards when he was in his early 70's . He shot his age once. After beating cancer this year he was finally back to playing golf. A month ago his son , aged 48 died of a sudden heart attack.. I could not go near him, Tom is not a Christian. I have tried to talk to him many times but he just thinks God is a block of ice, by circumstances that have happened to him over the years. He lost his first wife, had an unhappy second marriage, and had many career dissappointments along the way.
After the loss of his son for the first time I have nothing to say to him about Christ, no words of encouragement no words of wisdom. I am his sons age. I know he looks at me and thinks of me as a substitution for his son if only by a factor of 1%.
I love this man very much but will not again talk to him about salvation. I think. I may be ( hope and pray not ) separated from him for all eternity,,,,,but in case I am separated from him for eternity all I can think about is I want to spend as much time with him as long as I can here on earth. He is so kind and so congenial that I think he is my father sometimes...I can ask him advice and he so freely gives it to me...not judgemental or pre...judged just kind good advice...Tom is a tightwad....but he took me out to dinner the other night at this expensive restaurant ....suggested the most expensive thing on the menu and we had a great time...he picked me some pears apples and peaches and let me take them home ..I helped him make some household repairs that he could not fix himself and for the first time I thought I really do understand this man better than I ever have...suffering so silently over the loss of his son, and no one knows....and one thing I will never tell him ...is "God understands," or "God loves you"..OR God sent his only son so you can be reunited with your son some day....I think this line of "comfort"????????????????????????????????????????????????? is meaningless...I think Tom only understands one thing right now and that is that I will be there for him to play an occassional round of golf , or do a chore around his house, or go out to eat with him...how God intends to work this latest round of tragedy to turn it around for Tom's ultimate good is way beyond me and something that I cannot accept will happen...yes it makes me a little hard hearted and yes it make me depressed because it was I more than any other I know who prayed on my knees praying for Tom's salvation....now this ...!!!!!!what hope does Tom have now....go back in my posts over the last 5 years right here and see how many times I requested prayer for Tom....obviously it was my prayers that brought this on him....so if you want to Shalom ...blame me for your loss...I've treasured your valuable time that you have spent here...blessing me so many times...lifting you up in prayer so many times....some reward I have reckoned for you. |
