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Politics : PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH

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To: Wayners who wrote (453658)9/5/2003 10:29:58 PM
From: Tadsamillionaire  Read Replies (3) of 769670
 
Rumsfeld Proposes French Lead U.N. Force
(2003-09-05) -- U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld today proposed that France lead a United Nations force to stabilize Iraq and prepare the nation for so called "self rule."

"This was our plan all along," said Mr. Rumsfeld. "The French and Germans have been pretending to oppose us in Iraq. I can show you documents where Jacques Chirac and Gerhard Schroeder agreed to behave like sniveling
self-interested ninnies before the war. Then, once we had achieved victory,they would act like arrogant rat snakes, until the U.S. pretended to care about world opinion. Then we'd all join hands, sing Kumbaya and send in the
blue helmets under the baton of Kofi Annan."

Mr. Rumsfeld said the plan was designed to "eject Saddam Hussein and install a puppet democracy welfare state then hand out oil franchises like AOL CDs to Security Council members."
The Defense Secretary described the plan as "an unmitigated success."

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Flat Broke: U.S. to Close Iraq, Auction Assets

(2003-09-03) -- Since the $500 billion cost of rebuilding Iraq is too high, the Bush administration plans to close it and sell off its assets by the end of the year.

"It's strictly a business decision," said an unnamed State department spokesman. "Iraq was an underperforming asset which became a cash-sucking liability. I'm sorry for the 22 million Iraqis, but I'm sure their Muslim neighbors will take them in and help them get back on their feet."

The administration plans to auction the land and other assets on eBay in early 2004
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