Shalom - I used to drive a taxi for a number of years.
I thought I was "serving" the Lord by witnessing to any
who would listen. I look back upon the experience as a
lesson to me.
I meet a fellow one time however that told me he had
gotten saved and attended church but gave up on God
because God "let" his brother die even though he had
prayed with all his might.
I mean you no harm Shalom - and I also readily admit I am
no Job - I am not even as good as one of Job's friends.
Your "act" is all the *ifs* IF God exists and the *if* the
Bible is true stuff - it is quite an act and surely very
difficult to maintain when you know you know better.
Let me share a little personal history with you.
I went to the Bible book store one day about 20 years ago.
I found these little paper backs that were the individual
books of the bible - at that time I had to confess I had
not read all of the bible although I would espouse just
how much I loved God and would die for Him - blah blah blah.
I decided to buy them as they would be easy to carry and
as I read each one could go on to the next until I could
assure myself I had read all of the old testament.
However, upon realizing my own weaknesses decide not to
buy the entire set lest I find them unread years later and
waste my money. I bought therefore only 2. I was very
penetcostle back in those days and trusted that God would
cause me to buy what I need to hear most. I bought the
book of Hosea and the book of Job. Now at this point any
unbeliever will accuse me of lying but I am not and God is
my witness. AS SOON AS I got home and in the door my
(first) wife asked where I had been (no cell phones ) and
said that both my sister and mother had been calling to
get a hold of me. That was unusual, my wife said she
thought that my sister had taken one of her children to
the hospital. I called my mother immediately and she told
me that my sister daughter was supposedly quite sick and
that my sister had called her to keep trying to reach me
because she really wanted me to come to the hospital. I
knew something had to be up but without much thinking
decided to go right away - at the last moment I decided to
take something to read and pulled from the bag I had just
layed on the table both books but then decided to only
take one - I took the book of Job.
My sisters daughter was 1 month short of being 2 years
old. Over the next 3 days we spent our time in the
hospital without much sleep while the little girl died.
Did we pray - did we beg God - did my sister even try to
repent of sins she likely did not even commit? Did we
wonder if we lacked faith - did we wonder who had sinned
that this one should die - shall I go on???
My father after the first day leaned upon me in tears and
said "If God lets her die I do not think I will be able to
serve Him ever again. She means EVERTHING to me."
During the time that we waited and waited in the waiting
room, my sister, my brother in law, and I all read the
book of Job. I can not tell you how much I grew in that
experience. My sister said "This may seem perverted, but
it almost seems like God took my daughter so we could all
draw closer to Him"
In that time I felt as close as I ever did or have to my
sister. During that time I felt as close as I ever have to
the Lord.
One of our friends however, after that and because of it,
never went to church again. My father however did continue
and accepted that God is sovereign and that we do not own
our children - they are His to do with as He desires.
In God's providence, I was buying that book and being
prepared for a spiritual experience that has never been topped to be honest.
I of course had to ask myself well what of the other
book. Could one book have been so ordained and the other
meaningless?
My (first and unfaithful) wife divorced me not much later.
I was not caught by surprise.
Maybe God will use this experience to harden your heart
but I think better things may be in store for you.
God is not injured by your "act" and *IF* you are elect
you will come around.
Your son?
God sacrificed His own Son. Jesus lives.
What did Job lose?
If you have lost anything - then perhaps you never really had it.
I am sorry for your "loss" - letting loved ones go is
the toughest thing there is among our earthly trials.
How many have said I wished it were I who had died?
That is a Cry of Love
Job 1:21 And said, Naked came I out of my mother’s womb,
and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave,
and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.
22 In all this Job sinned not, nor charged God foolishly.
Brian |
